And the Genie Says -or- Jim and Randy vs. the Raccoons Episode 1

I remember once a long time ago seeing a TV commercial where a family of raccoons was sitting on the couch watching television and changing channels with a remote control. At the time I thought it was pretty funny and the image has stuck in my head for many years. I’ve even used the line “you’d swear a family of raccoons lived here” on a number of applicable situations through the years.

Many of you know that I’m a fairly large proponent of the Law of Attraction. Not just from the new age approach addressed in the recent best seller “The Secret” but also in an approach to life philosophy. I’m not going to get into a long philosophical post about this matter but the point I’m referencing here is that the Law works very well in both directions even when it applies to the ridiculous and the sublime.

Last weekend I had a fun time messing around in New Buffalo with my friends. While golfing on Saturday at my favorite course, I was engaged in a conversation about how I needed to clean my house and my buddy said, “You haven’t even been here for the last three weeks. How can it be dirty?” I reminded him that somehow there is a new layer of dust and junk on the floor even when I’m not there. I went on to say, “I swear there’s a family of raccoons living in there when I’m not around.”

In the book The Secret the authors warn to be careful what you say or wish for because your thoughts become realities. The author makes the reference to the Genie and Aladdin’s lamp and notes that often you can inadvertently wish for things you don’t really want by calling them to the forefront of your mind at which point the genie gladly delivers your hearts desire. If you haven’t read The Secret it is a total worthwhile read regardless of how much you may or may not want to believe. It just makes you think.

Well as I was getting ready to leave to come back to Chicago on Sunday night last weekend my buddy Randy and I looked up at my roof and saw a hole and a piece of plastic blowing through the hole. After further inspection it was clear that a raccoon had chewed the hole in my roof, torn up a decent amount of the soft coil duct work for the heat and a/c venting and had very likely had babies in the crawl space between my sub-roof and the ceiling of my house.

“It’s like a family of raccoons lives there when I’m gone”

And the genie says your wish is my command master…

Later that night Randy patched the roof prior to the rains coming. We both figured it would be a good idea to leave the door to the attic open in case the mother raccoon needed to gain access to or easement from the attic for the babies. Unfortunately the wind that night didn’t agree with that idea and ripped the door of the hinges. Handy Randy fixed that too but now we had to leave the door shut due to impending storms. Somehow I can’t escape the feeling we are not unlike Bill Murray in the first ten minutes of Caddyshack the movie; merely the first skirmish in an ongoing war for the territory between my ceiling and my roof at the cottage. I suspect this will be the topic of a few blogs over the next couple of weeks. For now I search the internet for information and ideas and once in a while run across something pretty humorous and slightly terrifying about how others have dealt with raccoons like this.

Right now I’m thinking about a family of raccoons walking peacefully out of my attic and on to the marsh to play and hunt and have a great life in the outdoors. Where’s that damn genie?


About Jim Herbert

I've been wanting to write my whole life. By age 45 it had amounted to nothing more than a storage locker of half full journals and a lot of unfulfilled dreams. Then Paris in the fall of 2011 happened. It was the catalyst I needed to consistently blog. At first I had a hard time hitting the publish button, but now two blog sites and over 300 posts later I'm hitting my stride. I'm also a budding speech writer. I've recently been heavily involved in the Chicago Storytelling scene and have also won the Chicago Toastmasters Area 66 International Speech Contest. Check out our website at for more details about the amazing things that are happening in my life. A book or two are nearing completion. With another Paris trip on tap for Easter of 2015 I can only imagine that there are Infinite Possibilities on the horizon!!!
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One Response to And the Genie Says -or- Jim and Randy vs. the Raccoons Episode 1

  1. Charlene Herbert says:

    Raccoons sometimes fun to look at …in your attic or under your porch”not so much.”
    Good Luck!

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