So if this is the end…

  • then I will be grateful for the life I have had until now. No regrets. No remorse. No unfinished business. No wishes un-realized. While there are many stones un-turned that is a situation that is out of my control. If tonight is the last night of the world I have done what is needed. I stopped at my great place of work after a perfect day and I got a kiss from my life partner and fiancee who has the privilege of working there before she started her night at work. I had a glass of wine with some special friends while they enjoyed a perfect dinner at the place that does is better than anyone. I went to a few new places with some newer friends who make my life better in both physical and emotional ways. I got a phone call from one of my best friends who I was supposed to catch up with tonight but he understood that I wound up doing something different and we can (maybe) do it in the morning. I talked to my Mom on the way to work today and made plans (hopefully) for our Christmas together. I exchanged texts with my oldest best friend from grade school and my more current best friend who sent me some video about a Meth Hallucination League that I haven’t had a chance to see yet that will be hilarious if I see it. I have taken delivery on the 15 pound NY sirloin steak roast that I will make on Christmas day for our family if the universe allows it. I have had contact with my ex-wife and her current partner and I have had great exchanges with the sister of that same ex-wife and sent gifts to her kids who are my only niece and nephew in this whole wide world. I have lost a bunch of weight in the last month that makes me feel better even if it doesn’t matter if tomorrow never comes. I’ve blogged over 100 times in the last 14 months some of them un-noticed amd some of them viewed hundreds of times. It makes no matter to me because the value is in writing them not viewing the stats. I’ve learned to slow down in some ways and I’ve learned to speed up in other ways. There will be people who I wish I had contact with in the recent past and others that I am glad I didn’t. In the end I suspect that  I will feel like it isn’t really the end and in fact it is a new beginning. A beginning that involves shifting the energy of a very masculine universe to a more feminine and understanding universe. A beginning that involves a predominance of negative thought to a place of more positive opportunity. A new possibility. A new sun. A new chance for all of us to enjoy the abundance that we all deserve and that we all inherently know that is there for us even if part of us thinks that our success depends on another’s failure. It just isn’t that way! There is enough for all of us! So as I get ready for bed on this precarious night I can only think that I am content. I suspect that great things are ahead for all of us if we can envision them. I am so happy for me and my family. I’m happy for the chance to know Andy and CJ and Sherry and Cherie and Tom and Britgne and Brittany. So many others! Rachel and Racheal. Brian and Dan and Dan and Dan and Dan. Anne and Frank and Anne and Ann and Eric and John. And Jon and Andy and Matt and Matt and Matt. Marty and Maggie and Marti and John and Pat and Patrick and Phil. Karen and Caryn and Sam and Samantha. Jacob and Jaceb and Andrew and Henry and Hank. Ashley and Aaron and Erin and Hector. Mary and Maria. Rich and Dick and Richard. Mark and Matthew and Barry and Kerry. Carrie and Charlie and Char and Sherry. Leah and Lea. Gary and Gerry and Jerry and Tom and Thomas and Terry and Terri. Rodrigo and Tito and Katie and Kate. Gerald and Gilbert. Frank and Ben and Benjamin and Francis. Tim and Tom and Philip and Mark and Luke. Clark and Oswald and Lewis and Louis and Louise. Todd and Joan and Jenny ad Jennifer. Taylor and Tyler and Shaena and Sheena. Jamie and James and Rhonda and Ronda. Charlie and Steve and Charlotte and Carla and Charlene and Sharlene. Charles and Chuck and Chaz. Kimmy and Karl. Harrold and Edna and Erin and Aaron. This could go on forever and pass through all nationalities and creeds and I still wouldn’t even touch the people who I know first hand. In the end I suspect this isn’t really the end. The end of the Mayan calendar is maybe the most misunderstood thing since Y2K. It’s really a new beginning and a great chance. A chance to wake up tomorrow and ‘Be the changes you wish to see in the world.” If it’s good enough for Gandhi then it’s good enough for us, right?

So what am I doing right now? Same thing as I always do at this point of the year. Watching Christmas Vacation for the 9th time this season. Wrapping presents. Anxiously waiting for Christmas Eve. The end of days? It doesn’t really feel any different than the continuation of days. If we let it?

I had dinner with a friend of mine about a month ago that has brain cancer. I remarked to her how I was amazed that she had no remorse or regret or feelings of doom. She said to me “Jimmy I’ve got news for you…we are all going to die someday. I don’t know if I will die tomorrow, or in six months or in six years. And neither do you!”

Good Medicine my dear friend. Good medicine.

I have no regrets, No remorse. No un-finished business. No wishes un-realized. For that I am truly content!

See you all tomorrow (I suspect)…….

 

 

Advertisements

About Jim Herbert

I've been wanting to write my whole life. By age 45 it had amounted to nothing more than a storage locker of half full journals and a lot of unfulfilled dreams. Then Paris in the fall of 2011 happened. It was the catalyst I needed to consistently blog. At first I had a hard time hitting the publish button, but now two blog sites and over 300 posts later I'm hitting my stride. I'm also a budding speech writer. I've recently been heavily involved in the Chicago Storytelling scene and have also won the Chicago Toastmasters Area 66 International Speech Contest. Check out our website at www.emergingintojoy.com for more details about the amazing things that are happening in my life. A book or two are nearing completion. With another Paris trip on tap for Easter of 2015 I can only imagine that there are Infinite Possibilities on the horizon!!!
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to So if this is the end…

  1. Judith Levy says:

    Don’t forget me…I haven’t forgotten you.

    Sent from my iPhone

  2. Diane Onixt says:

    Wow, great message. You have a healthy attitude-keep it up Jim. I will be downtown on Friday, Jan. 11-who do I have to know to get a reservation for one at 1:30? I will be celebrating New Year’s with a couple that I have gone out with on New Year’s eve for 3 years. I miss David it’s hard to be a 5th wheel at times…..your friend, Diane Onixt

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s